Thursday, 23 September 2010

Rainy day

Today it finally feels like the season's changing. It's cold, and raining and I have no desire to wear my flip flops, which I wear all summer whatever the weather. I want to pull on a huge warm jumper, curl up and read. There's a huge stack of books by my bed, all calling out to be read. There's also the books I have to read for uni, and I'm avoiding them. Maybe it's time to (wo) man up and get on with it. I might discover a new favourite book in that box. Or not. But I'll never know til I open the cover and read the first sentence.

What's your favourite book opening sentence?

Monday, 20 September 2010

All at once...

I start back at uni next Wednesday, I told my boss about it today, she was totally cool about. I should be (cross fingers and toes) starting my new job on Monday. Oh, and I met a lovely guy, and now it's all starting to overwhelm me.
Why does life throw curveballs like this? I was trying to figure out what my work/uni/social life balance was going to be, and now I've met a lovely person I want to spend time with, just as everything else kicks off. My summer was slow, nothing happened.
I have my birthday, my best friend puts in an appearance and we start to mend some fences, I have uni and work, and now this person. (I need to think of a code name). I'm wondering whether I can keep all these balls in the air. I want to. I don't want to drop anything, I want to do my Masters, my job, see my friends, spend time with my boy, and not feel overwhelmed and stressed and in need of retreat.
I know how I behave when I get stressed, I hide out and freak out and then I push everything and everyone away. Then I fall into a depressive spiral. I do not want that to happen. I need to be prepared to fight my corner. To stand up for what I want.

Tuesday, 14 September 2010

Making a Bet

I spent much of the past weekend (from Thurs-Sun) in one pub or another. I've decided to give my liver a rest. I spent the first 6 months of the year sober, completely, and now I'm going to spend the final 3 the same way.
However to add to it, I've made a bet with my friend who wants to quit smoking again. Now I know I can go a lot longer without drinking (as I don't drink that often, except this past weekend) but he smokes like a chimney.
There is a forfeit, the person who folds first has to wear a pair of pink flashing fluffy bunny ears on a Tuesday night in our home town when everyone's home for Christmas. Where we live, Tuesday is student night, and the local pubs are swamped. Walking around with those on your head is going to be highly embarrassing and really funny. But not if it happens to me. Which it won't. Stay tuned....

Sunday, 12 September 2010

The Birthday Post

Technically my birthday isn't until 6am 13th September. But I may not get around to posting tomorrow.

This weekend has been interesting to say the least. Last night was rather drama packed, but most of it wasn't anything to do with me and didn't spoil my night.
A while back I wrote a post about losing my best friend. About how painful and horrid it was. Last night she turned up and we started to mend some fences. We spent an hour sat in her car talking things through, the last year has been pretty grim for her too, and we both realised we needed to be more open and communicative, which is hard because we're alike in the way we behave when things get difficult. We internalise it, don't deal with it, and let it affect everything else.
Her facebook status this morning read "is glad to have her friends back". I feel exactly the same.

Today I ventured into the heart of my sprawling, chaotic city, and went along to watch the parade at the Thames Festival. A friend suggested it last night, and a bunch of us braved the underground and it's many weekend disruptions to go along. It wasn't overly thrilling. I fell in a hedge and scratched my back up. Which is rather painful.
Then we wandered into Soho in search of a decently priced bar, we never found one. Which brings us to now. It's just turned 11pm, in a few short hours, I will be 24. I'm hoping it's a better year all round for me. Heaven knows I need it.

Saturday, 11 September 2010

Writer's Diary

I'm thinking of giving short story writing ago. I tried it once before and quite enjoyed it, I found it quite disciplined, unlike longer forms it can be quite restricted. I like the idea of having rules, a word limit, almost like writing academic essays again!
I've been reading Stories, an anthology edited by Neil Gaiman and Al Sarrantonio recently, and it's inspired me to have another go at the format. I remember writing about short stories, and how they're usually about the Other, that slightly sinister, creepy, unknown. So there are a few ideas percolating in my head (just like a coffee pot) and I'm starting to make notes, to jot down the ideas and see where I can take them. So I guess I'll see what happens. I might put up a sample here when I think it's ready to share.

Thursday, 9 September 2010


Two posts in one day, how exciting.

Firstly apologies for my absence, I've not been home much, and when I have been I've been exhausted. I've spent the last couple of days doing a training course for my new job, I don't want to go into details, but I've found it very interesting. Unfortunately it's a bit of a trek to get there and requires quite an early start so I get home too tired to do much. I'll try and get round to all the blogs I follow and catch up soon. However being as it's my birthday on Monday I'm not actually going to be here much over the weekend so it might be a while before I get back to blogging.
Secondly, kind of an add on to the first point, if you do find my ramblings interesting, please join me on Twitter, I know one or two of you already have, I'm rather fascinated by the whole concept at the moment, and find it much easier to just type my 140 characters than squeeze in time to write on here when I'm running hither and thither. If you would like me to follow you on Twitter, please leave me a comment with your tag and also blog address if I don't already read it.
On Twitter I am @ramblingmads as rambling on is what I do best! (I know I blogged about this last time, but please bear with me). There's a link to the right of the post. Hopefully some of you will take me up and join the randomness.

P.S My spell checker has a problem with Monday, apparently it's not a word, so what is the day of the week between Sunday and Tuesday called then spellcheck??


"I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another til I drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I have nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion."
                                                         ~Jack Kerouac 'On The Road'~

Monday, 6 September 2010

In which I buy a new phone and come to terms with technology.

For the longest time I've had a rapidly aging Motorola Pebble phone. Today it's had it. I'd finally had enough of a phone that kept switching itself off. So I went and got myself signed up to a contract (I've always been a pay as you go customer) and got a shiny new Blackberry. I didn't really want an iPhone, all those apps would just annoy me. So I got something with a proper qwerty keyboard and that chirps at me for attention! It's a bit like a pet I guess.
I downloaded facebook so I can keep upto date with the random stuff my friends come out with, and I joined twitter!!! If you would like to read the things that occur to me while stuck in traffic on the bus, or the odd ideas I have in supermarkets (yes it will be that random) please do. is where you'll find me and the strange things that pop into my head!

Thursday, 2 September 2010

Randomness, stuff and nonsense

My books have started arriving for the great MA adventure, embarking soon. The lists are a bit insane, and I foresee it all taking over my life, so I'll be blogging even less than I do already, and spending much less time meandering around the internet, reading blogs, and looking at shoes.
I'm hoping the job sitch will be sorted next week, I have training for that, and I'm crossing my fingers (and toes) that the CRB form is being processed as I type. I need to get this all sorted, it's really weighing me down. Although I'm starting to really feel better, depression wise, as things clear up and get sorted out, I can feel myself coming back to life, I even wrote a poem (albeit a rubbishy one) on my phone the other day.
I'm doing a wee bit more socialising at the mo, trying to catch everyone before I get super busy and they jet off to unis all over the country. I'll miss my friends, but it is an excuse to hare across country to visit them.
 I'm also trying to plan a trip to Paris with my cousin/substitute big sister, as our birthdays are 2 weeks apart and we've never really done anything together for it, so hopefully once work/uni is sorted I can book a Eurostar ticket and find a cheapish but not awful hotel for a few days. She's never been, and I love Paris. So it'll be really fun, even if all we do is touristy stuff, I can practice my French (which is disastrous at the moment) and see the sights, including Oscar Wilde's tomb (got to say Bonjour to one of my lit heroes) and Shakespeare & Co bookshop (which sounds like my idea of Heaven).
But first there's the matter of waiting for my books to be delivered, and organising a birthday celebration. In just under 2 weeks I shall be 24. Which feels ridiculous. I am almost a quarter of a century old and have no idea what I'm doing or what I want from life. But there we go. It seems that almost all of my friends are in the same boat. Only a few have it figured out. Most of us are just trying to keep our heads above water.
So far I've arranged to go to this nice pub near my house for a few birthday drinks on the Saturday, and then go out for a roast Sunday dinner at another lovely old fashioned pub a bit further from mine but still reachable. I've invited my lovely, bonkers, charming and hilarious friends. Presents aren't essential, but good company definitely is.
How did you celebrate your last birthday? And is there anything I should definitely see/do in Paris (bearing in mind I've been there before and have most of the obvious tourist stuff)?