Where have you been?

Firstly an apology for the sporadic posting recently. I just need to be less exhausted and more able to post, but if you do want to know what I'm up to, try Twitter, I post more frequently there right now.

Things are going ok in some respects and in others, not so much. Uni is fantastic, I'm really getting back into the swing of things, my first assignment's due in a couple of weeks, and I'm a little nervous, but it should be ok.

I've been seeing the boyfriend for about a month now, and it's nice. He's lovely, a perfect gentleman, and he makes me laugh. We have grown up conversations and debates, which is always good in my book. We've been spending a lot of time together, still getting to know each other, and cooking for each other which is rather fun. We curl up on the sofa and watch Dexter or a movie, and it's just, well, lovely really. Although I'm still struggling with all the compliments he pays me, I don't really know how to take one as they're so rare, but I'm trying not to go bright red every time he says something nice.

The work situation is still driving me a bit nuts. My CRB form is stuck at stage 4 of 5 and without it I can't start work, this nonsense has been ongoing for months now, but there's nothing I can do about it, so I'm stuck in a holding pattern, waiting for things to progress so I can start my job, and fill the empty hours.

Anyway, that's life right now. Some good, some bad. How's everyone else doing out there?

Brain exercises for the disenchanted

It's really nice to be back at university, to be learning new things, talking about books again and feeling really excited about stuff. My brain gets a great workout, I really have to think, and it feels fantastic after doing nothing whatsoever for so long.
So far I've been back for 2 weeks, 4 classes down, several dozen to go!
I've read a couple of novels, some really complex literary theory, spent seminars struggling to work out exactly what it is I want to say about things, without sounding like I have no idea what's going on.
I'm slightly dreading having to start academic writing again, I'm sure my essay skills are completely rusty. However, part of me is looking forward to really getting into the material and exploring it, though the dissertation fills me with dread, but I'm not required to think about that for a while yet, so I'm trying to put it out of my mind and just focus on the weekly reading, and planning the essays that are coming up.
Looking forward to next week's class!!

Pause for Poetry

Today is National Poetry Day, and while I blogged about this over at ABADBW, I haven't mentioned it here. I love poetry, not just writing it, but also reading it. Some of my favourite poets include current Poet Laureate Carol Ann Duffy, Wendy Cope, T.S Eliot, Spike Milligan, Simon Armitage, William Shakespeare, Seamus Heaney, W.B Yeats, Pablo Neruda and Andrew Marvell, and that doesn't include my individual favourite poems which are sometimes by completely different poets.
These year's theme is Home. Over on Twitter, Poetry Day UK are asking people to tweet lines from poems about home. I chose "I must arise and go now, and go to Innisfree/And a small cabin build there" which is by Yeats.
So, what's your favourite poem/poet and what poem makes you think of home?

I'm getting on my soapbox

A lot of my friends are gay, including some of my best friends. I have been to Pride in London twice now, it's always fun, but it's important. It's important to celebrate our differences, to celebrate the struggles and triumphs that the gay community have had. I love my friends, they are so important to me. I get called a 'fag hag', mostly by Aleks, but my friend Holly coined the term 'fagulous' and I much prefer it.
I mentioned Kate Bornstein's contribution to the It Gets Better project on Youtube. I highly recommend checking it out, especially if you know anyone struggling with their sexuality. It was launched because of a spate to teen suicides in the US.
The world needs more beautiful, brilliant, talented, funny, smart and kind people in it, not less. If you take yourself out the world, the world suffers, we need more love, less hate. More acceptance and understanding, less ignorance and bigotry.
I don't want to hear stories of more lights going out, it's heart-breaking. You matter. Whoever you are.

Stay Alive

Kate Bornstein is my hero. She's incredible. Her book Hello Cruel World: 101 Alternatives to Suicide for Teens, Freaks and Other Outlaws helped me through an incredibly bad time, it's funny, wise and genuinely helpful. She's recorded a video for Dan Savage's youtube project, It Gets Better. If you know anyone who's struggling with their lives, struggling to hang on, I highly suggest they check out the project and Kate's book.

Rainy day

Today it finally feels like the season's changing. It's cold, and raining and I have no desire to wear my flip flops, which I wear all summer whatever the weather. I want to pull on a huge warm jumper, curl up and read. There's a huge stack of books by my bed, all calling out to be read. There's also the books I have to read for uni, and I'm avoiding them. Maybe it's time to (wo) man up and get on with it. I might discover a new favourite book in that box. Or not. But I'll never know til I open the cover and read the first sentence.

What's your favourite book opening sentence?

All at once...

I start back at uni next Wednesday, I told my boss about it today, she was totally cool about. I should be (cross fingers and toes) starting my new job on Monday. Oh, and I met a lovely guy, and now it's all starting to overwhelm me.
Why does life throw curveballs like this? I was trying to figure out what my work/uni/social life balance was going to be, and now I've met a lovely person I want to spend time with, just as everything else kicks off. My summer was slow, nothing happened.
I have my birthday, my best friend puts in an appearance and we start to mend some fences, I have uni and work, and now this person. (I need to think of a code name). I'm wondering whether I can keep all these balls in the air. I want to. I don't want to drop anything, I want to do my Masters, my job, see my friends, spend time with my boy, and not feel overwhelmed and stressed and in need of retreat.
I know how I behave when I get stressed, I hide out and freak out and then I push everything and everyone away. Then I fall into a depressive spiral. I do not want that to happen. I need to be prepared to fight my corner. To stand up for what I want.